


Explanations And Cuddles

by DarkMoonMaiden



Series: Explanations and Cuddles [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Asexual!Peter, Asexuality, Fluff, I dunno how to tag that otherwise, Internalized Self-Hatred, M/M, Peter just has some issues at the beginning, Wade is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 00:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMoonMaiden/pseuds/DarkMoonMaiden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was something that Peter wasn't even comfortable thinking about, much less talking to Wade about. But he knew that the topic was going to come up eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Explanations And Cuddles

**Author's Note:**

> Stress writing is great, especially when it's so close to finals and I should be studying.
> 
> And titles are hard. At what point can I just pull a Fall Out Boy and give my fics long and nonsensical names?

Peter had never really thought about sex much.

When he was dating Mary-Jane, they had taken their relationship slow and steady, neither wanting to rush. He’d even overheard MJ sighing about how wonderful it was to have a boyfriend that didn’t just want sex, sex, sex. Even if Flash and the other boys kept on pressing for details about it and mocked him for not losing his V-card, the teen was content in his sexless relationship.

It became obvious later on, though, that Peter wasn't waiting for the right moment--he didn’t want any form of sex from MJ. She had tried to not be offended, saying that it was something they’d work on, but as time passed she became more and more irritated until she finally exploded.

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with a boy doesn’t want me, Peter,” she had said the night she broke up with him, frustrated yet apologetic. “I love you, a lot, but this is just something I can’t get over.” Peter didn’t argue with her.

And then the first time he had romantic feelings towards a man, it clicked for Peter. That’s why he didn’t want to have sex with MJ: he wasn’t in to women. The thought brought intense relief, and a sense that he wasn't the 'odd one out.'

But then Peter realized he still felt no attraction, no urges.

He panicked. What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he want to have sex, or masturbate, or have any desire towards people of either sex?

He couldn’t ask anyone; it would just lead to more embarrassment. He couldn't afford a therapist, and there was the chance that someone would gossip if he told. He'd been lucky that MJ hadn't told anyone the real reason for the break-up, and Peter didn't want to press his luck. The school he went to had probably one ofo the worst sex ed classes in the world, and the teacher for it was openly homophobic and against sex before marriage. When he tried to google it online, the results would be porn or hate messages.

Maybe Mary-Jane was right when she said that he just needed to suck it up and do it. That after he had some kind of sexual interaction with someone some sort of switch would flip and he’d want sex. So Peter tried watching porn, tried masturbating, but there was still no satisfaction, or any kind of interest. In a desperate bid for normalcy, Peter rationalized that he’d feel something when the time for sex actually came.

Peter didn’t bring up the topic with Wade, hoping to avoid it for as long as possible. Wade would occasionally hint at wanting to move the relationship to the next level when they made out, but always dropped the subject when Peter awkwardly left that want unreciprocated. Naturally, Wade figured Peter simply wasn’t ready, and would back off. Like MJ had.

After months had gone by, nearly half a year, and Peter still felt no inclination towards sex, he decided to throw himself into the deep end. To just try it. He feared that if he kept on putting it off, that eventually Wade would get irritated, like Mary Jane, and leave. Peter loved Wade; he didn’t want to have to deal with the heartbreak losing him like this would bring.

Peter choked back the discomfort that rose in the back of his throat as Wade pressed him down into the bed, kissing his neck and slipping his hand under his shirt. His movements were slow, tender, but it still seemed like things were too fast, that everything was going too quickly.

_Just wait it out. Just last a bit longer._

He gripped Wade's shoulders tightly, trying not to push him away as a calloused hand slowly unclasped his pants and slipped inside. Wade groaned appreciatively, whispering adorations while suckling red marks down his throat and to his collarbone. The air Peter had been holding in his lungs came out in a sobbing gasp, and he pushed his boyfriend away.

“Wade, Wade stop,” he strangled out.

Wade’s hands and mouth were immediately off of him, and Peter could have cried with relief. Wade hovered over him, balanced on his knees and forearm, eyes wide and worried as Peter gulped in air. “Petey? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?"

Peter shook his head jerkily, throat closing up as he calmed down. Wade ran his fingers through the other's hair, shushing him gently.

"No," Peter choked out, trying to force the words out before he lost his nerve. "Y-you didn't. I...I just don't want...that." He gestured vaguely to their lower halves, blushing deeply with shame and embarrassment. He waited with baited breath for his boyfriend’s response, preparing for Wade to excuse himself for one reason or another and never come back.

Wade let out a deep sigh of relief, sagging back down onto Peter and wrapping his arms under him, grinning into Peter’s neck. “Don’t scare me like that, babe,” he chuckled, nipping at Peter’s earlobe. “That’s perfectly okay. We can try again some other time, when you’re ready, yeah?”

The other boy stiffened. He carefully pushed Wade off of him so he could sit up, refusing to meet his boyfriend’s curious gaze. He forced the words out, knowing that if he didn’t get them out now he never would. “I didn’t mean just this time, Wade. I mean that I’ll never want to have sex.”

No response. Peter chanced a glance at Wade, and felt his heart stop at the impassive mask he’d put on, trying and failing to hide the hurt he felt. “Oh,” the mercenary managed faintly, rolling into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, back facing Peter. “Ouch.” He reached for his mask on the bedside table.

“No, no, Wade, it’s not like that,” Peter rushed over the words, hoping to get them out before Wade left, to explain that it wasn't Wade but _him_. Wade wasn't the one who had something wrong with him, it was all _Peter_. He grabbed Wade's hand, stopping it before he could lift the mask to his face. “It’s not you, or your scars, I swear to God, it's all me. I’ve just never wanted sex, from anyone, but we can try again later--"

"Peter. Peter, it's alright," Wade soothed him, placing a steadying hand on Peter's back. The older took deep breaths, getting the other to mimic him. "You just don't like sex?" he clarified.

Peter nodded. "That’s why MJ broke up with me," he admitted. "She said she didn't want to be with someone who didn't want her. And then I started dating _you_ and thought I didn't feel sexually attracted to her because I was gay, but I still don't want to have sex and and I love you and I'm so sorry."

Wade stopped his desperate tirade, hands clutching Peter’s shoulders tightly. The younger looked up at him, still swallowing back tears and biting the inside of his cheek so hard it bled.

"Petey, it's _okay_ ," Wade emphasized. "If you don't want to, all you had to do was tell me. I'm not going to dump you like a certain redheaded buttface. Which was really stupid, man. She just lost a seriously good opportunity here." Peter choked on a weak laugh, wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriend.

Peter looked up at him, eyes flashing with uncertainty and chin resting on Wade’s chest. “Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly. “Like, that means you aren’t going to be getting laid while you’re with me. At all.”

Wade snorted lightly. “It’s not like people were lining up to bang me,” he chuckled, letting Peter push them so they were lying side by side on the bed. He pulled off his mask. “I’d rather date you than get sex.”

Peter bit his lip, and grinned widely up at Wade. He kissed Wade’s cheek sweetly. "Love you, Wade," he mumbled.

"Love you, too, baby boy," Wade returned. Teasingly, he added, "I can still cuddle you and jerk off, though, right?"

"Duh," Peter snorted. "If you stopped cuddling me I'd be extremely upset." He threw a leg over Wade's.

Wade hesitated. "I think you should go talk to Iron Man about your sexuality," he said delicately.

Peter froze. He looked up and frowned. "Tony? Why him, of all people?"

"Well, he's always having sex so much, so he'll probably be able to talk to you 'bout this better than I can," Wade defended himself. "And you guys see each other a lot while kicking ass, right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Peter said doubtfully. “He might just make fun of me, though. It’s always hard to tell with him.”

Wade nodded in agreement. “Okay. If you think it’s a good idea, will you try? Please?” Peter reluctantly said that he would, knowing that Wade was only worried about him.

The next time Spider-man ended up helping the Avengers, he hung back, instead of swinging away as soon as the action was done.

“Um, hey, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked hesitantly, dropping down next Iron Man on the sidewalk. “Can I talk to you?”

Tony, his mask already up, raised a questioning eyebrow at him. “Sure, kid. Can we do it at the Tower?” Peter quickly said that was fine, and swung through the city after him. He climbed up the building and into the penthouse, where the window was open and waiting for him.

Tony was already out of his suit, dressed in casual jeans and a T-shirt. He was at the bar, pouring himself a small glass of whiskey. “You want anything? Soda, apple juice, vodka?”

“Uh, water’s fine,” Peter said, taking off his own mask and sitting at the counter. He accepted the glass and sat in the silence that followed, unsure of what to say or how to start the conversation.

Tony was the first one to break the ice. “So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked, leaning against the counter and smiling in a disarming manner.

Peter nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s my...boyfriend’s idea,” he mumbled haltingly. He ignored the raised eyebrow Tony gave him at the gender of his lover. “He...thought it’d be a good idea if I talked to you.”

Tony’s gaze took on a knowing and amused expression, taking things in stride. “It’s about sex, isn’t it?” he asked knowingly. “What, did he want to try something kinky? If you don't want to, just say no, don't let 'im pressure you. Make sure to use safewords and condoms."

Peter's face was a bright red, and he buried it in his arms. " _God_ , it's not like that," he groaned. He pushed himself halfway out of the chair. "Y'know, this idea was terrible. I'll just Google it again."

Tony laughed goodnaturedly, telling him to sit back down. "Sorry, Petey. Lay it on me."

Peter settled down on the stool again, carefully picking his words. "It's sort of the opposite of what you said earlier," he said, voice raising in a questioning manner at the end.

"So... _you_ want the kinky stuff?"

Peter spluttered, "What? No! I don't _any_ of the stuff." His stomach flipped at blurting tha outt, but kept his face blank.

"Alright," Tony accepted after a moment. "So you're not attracted to men, but you love your boyfriend?"

"I'm not attracted anyone," Peter admitted quietly. "Not just Wa--my boyfriend. I have no... _urges_." He cringed at the wording. "He thought I should ask you because you're kind of a known playboy, or at least know more about this than we do."

Tony nodded thoughtfully, running his tongue over his teeth. "Well, you were right about that," he chuckled. He came around to Peter's side of the counter so he could sit.

Tony asked a few questions about Peter's past relationships, listening with a sympathetic ear. He’d already known what was wrong within the first few exchanges of their conversation, but he had a feeling that the kid had a lot he needed to get off his chest, that he probably hadn’t been able to talk to anyone besides his boyfriend.

Tony told Peter about asexuality, explaining what it was and the experience he’d had with it with different girls. Years and years ago, a reporter who’d visited him had educated him thoroughly when he’d made a flippant remark, spending a good seven hours ranting and raging about the different kinds of sexualities and genders in the world. It had been a slightly terrifying experience, but definitely an eye-opening one.

Peter looked similar to a child, hanging on to every word the older man said. “Oh sweet, sweet summer child,” Tony stopped himself, chuckling. “You’ve been in hell, haven’t you?” Peter flushed again, but didn’t deny it.

They talked for awhile before their conversation drew to an end and Peter glanced at the clock. “I should go,” he said, standing up and put on his mask. “Wade wanted to take me to dinner, and I still gotta take a shower.”

Tony nodded. “You wanna ride from Happy instead of swinging ‘round? He wouldn’t mind.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Peter waved him off. He paused. “Hey, uh, thanks so much for today,” he mumbled. “It, uh, really means a lot. I owe ya.”

“Don’t mention it,” Tony shrugged, finishing the last of his drink. “This’ll stay between us, alright? No one’ll know.” Peter thanked him emphatically, holding back the hug he wanted to give the other man; there was no need to make the situation any more awkward than was necessary.

Tony refilled his glass and walked with Peter out onto the roof. “So, who _is_ your mystery boyfriend?” he asked casually. “Is it another hero?”

Peter coughed in embarrassment. Knowing that it wouldn’t be fair to lie, he went with the truth. “Uh. It’s Deadpool.”

Tony spluttered on his drink, coughing uncontrollably. “ _Excuse_ me?” he gasped out.

“I know,” Peter laughed. “It, ah, took me by surprise, too. But I’m happy with him, y’know?” Giving Tony’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, he jumped off the side of the building.

Wade was at Peter’s door at the allotted time, holding a stack of movies in one hand and groceries in the other. Peter took the groceries and gave him a long, lingering kiss. When he pulled away, Wade looked dazed, a grin spreading over his features.

“I’m guessing that means you had a good talk with him?” he chuckled, giving Peter another smaller kiss before closing the door behind him.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “It was...really, really nice.” He smiled at him again before going into the kitchen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Comments/kudos much appreciated!
> 
> If you want to follow me on tumblr, or want me to write something for you: darkmoonmaiden.tumblr.com


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